What is the Best Way to Compliment an INTJ?


Kevin Price, Editor at Large for USA Business Radio and Host of the Price of Business Show, has recently become hooked on Quora.  In addition to daily hosting the Price of Business, Kevin has numerous writing obligations on this and other sites for which he serves as an editor and with his syndicated column, so we decided that if he’s going to write at Quora, he is going to share that content on this website.  If you are on Quora, make sure to follow Kevin.  You can check out his page here: https://www.quora.com/profile/Kevin-Price-67.

Kevin’s hot topics on Quora are history, free market economics, philosophy, and Myers Briggs typology, and many others.  The following is one of his recent answers to the question in the title.

That’s tough. As an INTJ, I do not take compliments well. Some of that is due to self-esteem issues, I’m sure, but there is always a great deal of cynicism in the mind of an INTJ when it comes to compliments.

To asked to come up with one assumes a “one size fits all” approach which is not accurate for any of the personality types. All INTJs (in spite their many similarities) are different and I noticed that the ones i know have some variance about the compliments or validations that work for them. However, here are a few that I think will resonate. What is interesting about most of these is that they are not verbal compliments, but behaviors that INTJs generally seek in others.

Being understood. INTJs generally feel like strangers in a strange land. We often feel like aliens. So, when someone understands us, that alone is a very important form of validation or compliment. INTJs know that they are difficult to understand, so people “getting them” is huge.

People who support our intellectual curiosity. I have friends who engage in conversations with me, even if it is beyond their interest level. Sure, they enjoy the breadth and depth of the conversation, but often it is to be supportive and to be an outlet for the intellectual gymnastics I often go into. INFJs tend to be great at this.

The greatest fear of an INTJ is vulnerability or intimacy. When they demonstrate such, they really appreciate and find it most validating, when friends are gentle and supportive with that information. I find myself in such a vulnerable place very rarely and love it when my friends honor such.

INTJs love being validated or complimented for their intellectual strengths or efficiency. INTJs take pride in the way they think and their ability to get things done in creative and innovative ways. When people compliment them for that, it is very appreciated.

INTJs like specific compliments. INTJs listen carefully to such compliments in order to make sure they are authentic. INTJs also find compliments a device to be pursue self improvement. They see their… (read more, while there, FOLLOW Kevin on Quora. 

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